Dear Chairperson of Dubitable Credentials,
This is a much less severe than our friend Tonto’s problem above. First of all, you are right. Pickles are amazing. Second of all, you are right again. You are probably eating too many pickles. However, as Senior Chairperson with Pickle Club Inc. you have a certain reputation to uphold. Clearly, the problem is not that you are eating too many pickles, it is that you are not getting your nutrition in other ways. In fact, as Senior Chairperson you probably have to eat at least 20 pickles a day to prove your legitimacy.
On the other hand, the amount of pickles you have to consume contains a lot of sodium. Hopepfully my next statement does not resalt in you feeling insalted or salty or desaltory. You’re gonna need a lot of water.
It probably will be inconvenient for you to drink enough water to counteract the sodium, since you’ll be needing to talk for chairpersony things. What you’re going to need is shoes full of water to help absorb the water through your skin, which occurs most effectively in pruned skin (well, maybe not).
On second thought, maybe lay off the pickles. You could try breaking your addiction by forcing yourself to eat pickle spears the long way. You won’t be able to bear it for long enough to feed your addiction.