Are You a Spunk or a Punk?October 12, 2022October 12, 2022 Time to settle the question you've been waiting for: Are You a Spunk or a Punk? Two paths diverge before you: that of the Spunk, and that of the Punk. Down one of them you see prosperity, gold raining down from the sky, and cute little birds smiling at you. Don't go that way, you punk. Down the other road you see nothing. It's long. It's narrow. Occasionally there's chewed gum on the ground. And yet you know that if you go that way, you will achieve something amazing: you will become spunky. You squint your eyes a little harder. Something is levitating like a cloud above the horizon at the end of the long path. Is that...? No, it couldn't be. You peer a little harder. It is! The floating face of the Dashing Galoot! As you stare, he beckons you to decide. What'll it be for you? Spunk, or punk? What time do you get up in the morning? 5:00 AM 6:00 AM 7:00 AM 8:00 AM Late Whenever my butler smacks me on the skull None What do you do when you get up in the morning? [choose multiple] Converse in Mandarin with a CD player from the 90s Slap myself all over to improve circulation Perform my best ice cube impression in a cold shower Eat eggs Practice my freestyle rapping Breakdance to my song of the day Which of these is not an appropriate outfit choice? Swanky leather jacket with gold sunglasses Dashing Galoot merch plastered all over Brightly colored pants Two layered sweaters Wristwatch on right arm None When walking around, which of these should you do? Stand in their way until they agree to a dance-off Follow behind strangers, whistling earworms Walk in circles until someone asks you why you're doing it Act super excited to see people and yell, "You just made my day!" None Which of these is not a good way to spend free time? Writing absurd quizzes and self-promoting articles Calling friends to tell them jokes that last longer than they should Reading ancient books so you can sound smart when quoting concepts you still barely understand Watching the Packers None What's the best environment for getting things done? Jazz Music Outside, where bugs crawl on you or your extremities freeze Chaotic hooligans rushing around as you sit in a sea of serendipitous serenity The silence of nothing but your disturbing inner monologue None What's the optimal lighting configuration? Dim, dim, and dimmer (just like the question-writer) Preferably a soft schema with hints of lavender and rose, a yellow hue coming from the sides and florescent pink emanating from the ceiling The warm caress of Mother Sun Whatever I can see in None Which of these do you do before going to bed? [choose multiple] Brush my teeth (and floss, of course) Perform a mild kickboxing routine Indulge my disco fever Stretch my limbs so I am lithe like a willow See how long I can hold my breath Please fill in the comment box below. Time's up Leave a Reply Cancel replyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Name * Email * Website Comment * Get My Really Funny Email Updates? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for [awesome] updates!
