How to Saunter

You stand at the doorway to a rollicking party.. As a Dashing Galoot, you know very well the power of first impressions, and you’re determined to get it right this time. You adjust your hair. You put on a smile. Then you stuff your hands in your pockets and nervously slide into the room.

No one looks up! How can it be? Do they not almost smell the magnetism of your personality? How have you gone unnoticed?

The key, my dear galoot, is your walk. An unassuming walk will cause all sorts of negative assumptions. People will think you’re unconfident, withdrawn, and not used to being around people.

That might be entirely wrong. Being a Dashing Galoot, you are obviously fascinating, charming, and a connoisseur of all types of pistachio. Yet these people will never realize it until you strut your stuff.

Why learn to Saunter?

1) You’ll feel amazing

A proper saunter makes you feel fantastic. When you move like a jaguar on the prowl, you feel like a jaguar on the prowl. How a person acts translates directly to how they feel.

This state of mind isn’t limited to your thoughts. It creates an aura around you that others subconsciously perceive: ‘this galoot is moving with a mission.’ Your walk transforms how others view you.

2) You’ll turn heads

Everyone has a distinctive walk. Get to know someone long enough, and you can recognize them from far off just by the way they move. Being distinctive isn’t hard; anyone can be a galoot. If one’s walk is both distinctive and dashing, though – watch out! That combo is more deadly than a boa constrictor burrito.

I assure you – heads will turn. When you saunter oh-so-casually past an ordinary mortal, they’ll try to have restraint. They’ll try to look straight ahead. They won’t last for long. As soon as they think you’ve passed, their eyes will follow you, wondering, “Who is this smoking hot saunterer?”

Your walk will make bystanders put owls to shame the way their heads will be swiveling. Chiropractors will love you with all the strained necks you’ll send their way.

3) Unforgettable entrances

Never be in the situation at the beginning of this post. Learn how to stroll into a room like a Ferrari rolling into a billion-dollar garage. Enter the doorway and pause for a moment. Survey the scene and choose who you will interact with. Then glide with confidence towards your target, and your new walk will have everyone metaphorically swooning for your attention.

Your entrances could become things of legend. With the right saunter, people will notice when you’ve arrived.

How to Saunter

At this point, one would likely be foaming at the mouth to discover these secrets. What is it that creates the perfect saunter? Can one learn this priceless talent, or is it gifted at birth to a lucky few?

It most certainly can be learned. I once moved about with a rather avian waddle before I realized my shortcoming. By implementing the right fixes, I cemented my reputation on campus because of how I carry myself. Now, I consistently meet people who have noticed me and the leather satchel I heft with me.

What’s that noise I hear? Oh, it’s just adoring fans pounding on my door, begging me to share the secrets of sauntering. I guess I had better get to the point before my door becomes kindling.

Hands

Get your hands out of your pockets. It’s natural to slide the fingers into those denim pouches, but it will immediately annihilate your stride. Instead of gliding with a smooth, strong gait, your hips will waddle from side to side with your arms.

No panther, jaguar, or cougar ever waddled. Hands in pockets will ruin everything. It also slumps your shoulders forward and makes you more closed off, which will make you appear either insecure or timid.

Let your arms swing in a controlled manner at your sides. If your hands are cold, wear gloves. The natural swinging of your arms will promote a smooth roll in your shoulders, exuding confidence.

Chest

Shoulders go back, chest goes forward. Don’t strut like a rooster on testosterone supplements, but find a healthy balance.

This will likely require you to keep your chin up, but don’t raise it too high. That’s a clear indicator of arrogance, which you do not want to show. Maintain the fine balance between confidence and arrogance by keeping the chin about level with the ground and the shoulders slightly back.

Posture

The key is to have a ramrod-straight spine while appearing entirely relaxed. Strengthening your back and neck muscles will help with posture, but it’s possible either way. Try Supermans or yoga to improve your back flexibility and strength.

Most people stick their heads too far forward after hunching over screens for too long. It will probably help to tuck your chin straight back.

Think of a string pulling you upwards. Rise up to your tiptoes as the string pulls you. Bring your heels down but try to stay the same height you were on your tiptoes. You are now standing with good posture (hopefully). Remember, chin up, shoulders back.

Now, stay in the same position but relax all your muscles. You should feel tall but slinky, like the Pink Panther.

Let your weight ride back a little bit. You’re in no hurry – let it show.

The walk

Finally, you must put it all together. Along with everything else, you must move in a certain way. If everything else is going well, this will be easy. Everyone does it a little differently.

Let your shoulders roll up and down. Don’t go front to back like a bobblehead or side to side like a penguin. Let those shoulders flow up and down like calm ocean waves.

Some say for women this motion ought to be in the hip region instead of the shoulders. Due to a lack of experience being a woman, I will not comment one way of the other.

Don’t walk too quickly. Hurrying is very unseemly. Take strides that are of a comfortable length, neither short nor long.

Think of the swaggiest movie star you can, and try to embody them. Move like you’re as famous as them. Maybe throw on a smolder while you’re at it, or try to look irresistible.

Saunter into the sunset

That’s it. Put it all together and you have a top-notch saunter. After trying it out, you might decide it’s not for you. That’s ok! Maybe you’d be better suited by a swagger, a sashay, or a strut. You’ve already taken the first steps towards walking better by reading this article. Now, off with you. I need to go saunter around my room feeling excessively self-important.